Friday, March 1, 2019

2019 - So many changes. More on the way... hoping for the best.

So many changes since Eve left in 2017... I just didn't think to do any updates. Honestly... I'm not even sure if anyone reads these anymore... but I'll update it anyway. I have had an extremely busy year or so... often out in the field for a couple of months at a time... which was really taxing on me. I moved Carol (my second wife) here awhile ago... and she has been settling into the new life fairly well. At least my life (when I am home) has been more even keel.

Lots of work on the house

After Carol moved here I had to start doing work around the house... things had really fallen into disrepair as Eve was getting ready to leave and stopped doing things around the house. I had to replace much of the wood on the front where vines had dug in and rotted some of the lumber.

Carol working the garden.

Carol has been a trooper with doing garden work... really making some changes throughout the property. It has been great to have her here to help get things back on track. The yard looks so much different now... in some ways that is good, in other ways a big part of my former life has faded away.

I did a lot of field work in Arizona... and I saw some incredible views. Some of the trips were amazing... I got to go places that most people never see. Much of the equipment is high up in the mountains... sometimes half a day just to drive there. Sometimes... you just can't drive.

So it was a very busy summer in 2018... and the momentum continued into the fall. At times I worked 18 and 20 hours a day over a week at a time. I really had very little time for myself, to do things around the house, do videos, whatever. That was very stressful after awhile.

At one point Eve and I got together for a week in New Orleans as I tried to help her get her shop together... as nobody there would or could get her machines operational. So I took a week and went there to help her out. In New Orleans you are either "in the clique" or you are not.. and if you you are not... people are not about to do much for you. They will say, "Oh we should get together..." but no... not gonna happen. A fact I am well aware of having lived there almost two decades.

In the long run... her first year there didn't go well... she was hemorrhaging money and none of her equipment was set up. So perhaps I'm just a nice guy, an idiot, a dreamer... or all the above... so I went there to set things up and help her out. I still do love her and care about her... to a fault.

Eve's Garage
She really tried to make the place a home... but as nice as parts of it looked, without her machines she was unable to sustain her craft. We also had some good time together... we still love each other... just that she can't seem to make it work with me... and I'm not going to tear up my life to move back to New Orleans... I spent what felt like a lifetime there...

New Orleans Riverboat
Eve's Workshop
He has an incredible workshop... 30x30 feet... built to work on trucks. So I spent a few days getting her CNC machine other things in working order. It felt good to help her out, and it was nice to spend some time with her without any arguments or fights. I wish it could have been like this all the time.

I'll be honest... it was like we went on the vacation that never happened... but it was a fairy-tale... not really sustainable... it really pulled at my heart because it was what I wanted... to do things with her... to be myself... to be creative... all the stuff that makes me who I really am.

At one point... she thought that perhaps we could work something out... I could spend some time there in New Orleans, and some time at home in Austin. She came to Austin to talk with Carol... I was hopeful that perhaps somehow it could actually work out. Perhaps the two of them could get along and both get what they wanted... for Eve, independence and to do her art... for Carol security and a place that she knew was her home.

Eve and Carol
I was hopeful that things would work... most of the day went very well... but then it all fell apart badly. It is so very unfortunate. And sad. We all have so much potential... I have things in common with both women... and both need me in their own way. But it is like fire and gasoline... they just don't mix very well. I really tried... it was a foolish endeavor... but then I suppose that I am a foolish dreamer at heart.

The really sad part is that it could work out... My first wife Terryann and I are great friends. Carol and her get along great for the most part. When Terryann has issues... her and Carol talk... and Carol is always finding little things to cheer her up. So yeah... I thought that could happen with Eve. Sadly... it did not.

At Terryann's for Christmas
 Carol and I go there to Terryann's for Christmas... we have a great time. It all works out. And in the summer, they come here and we go to the river. So I really wanted to work something out between Eve and Carol. It just won't happen... Eve neither likes Carol nor Terryann... even though both women have honestly tried to include her.

Eve's Booth at the Bethany Lutheran Church

Eve had her booth for the Christmas fair... same as in the last eight years... and needed help setting up and doing the event... so I was happy to come help her out... As much as I griped about it in the past... I really did enjoy showing off all her crafts. And we typically had a great time laughing and joking. I was happy that at least that did not come to an end... at least not this year.

Christmas Spirit
But after the event was over... we spent some time together... and it was just too difficult for her to handle. In her eyes... I should move to New Orleans into my own place... separate from her... and come to visit. But that is not how I imagine my life.

Sleeping in a separate bedroom... sure... I snore like crazy... but a separate house? At this time in my life? Pick up everything and move again? Pack up everything I own... leave and relocate Carol again... take on all the finances associated with that, and cause that kind of heartache?


Just no.

Great Friends
Carol loves it here and has made wonderful friends. She says it is the best time in her life so far. I work hard... and to hear her call for me to come down because she has made lunch... how could I not like that? I have a life that works for me. It is not perfect... but I'm not fighting nearly every day either. And people have told me that I seem much less stressed too.

We have a great little doggy now... and she makes life great... very loving. I mean... yeah... I miss the cats... but you know... I doubt they even realize I'm gone. They have Eve all to themselves... and you know... cats... right?

But yeah... I've had some rough times. My friend Mitch ended up moving to Hawaii this last year. As you may recall... he was the first person to come to me after Eve left... he helped me to start over. I doubt he will ever know just how much he helped me.

Jerry and Mitch at the river
I really miss him coming over to do some unusual project together... or just hanging out to make a GoPro video. It really saved me... kept me active. Between him moving, Eve leaving, and being on the road over 288 days... it took a toll on me... the stress of it all was nearly unbearable.

Chicken Parmesan at Nautilus Diner, Timonium  MD.
When I'm in the field all my rooms and meals are paid for... and when you look at the inside of hotel rooms for weeks on end... you need some comfort... unfortunately.. food... so the weight took a big hit... it jumped up about 40 pounds or so... and now I have to work it off. So yeah... rough year... and this year could go either way.

I'll stop for now... but hopefully it won't be quite so long until I do an update again.

I'll keep you posted.